check it out our google latitudes are spooning
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
