She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
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