And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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