I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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