I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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