Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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