haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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