i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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