But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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