vagina is talking i cant
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
