Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
