You're completely useless in the revolution.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
