Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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