I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
