I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
