just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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