have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
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