If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
