Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
