i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
