I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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