He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
