Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
