real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we're making bets on your personal life
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
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