the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
