The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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