..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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