The maid of honor just puked.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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