i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
