naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
