i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
