your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
