Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
