I love black thongs
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I made him laugh his dick is mine
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
