what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
