Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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