And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
