Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
