My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
