For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I see more hoeing in ur future
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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