i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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