So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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