she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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