From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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