he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
