Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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