frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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