id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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