Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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