Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
